Another Sports Columnist Mocks Beach Wrestling

Henshaw: A new sport to wrestle with
By Tom Henshaw/ Henshaw

Just when we thought we’d plumbed the depths with the revival of the sport of roller derby on TV, guess what happens?

The sport of beach wrestling, that’s what.

I am reliably informed (which means I read it in USA Today) that the first East Coast National Beach Wrestling Championships will be held Aug. 13 in Long Beach on Long Island, N.Y.

The sport, if it can be called that, is big on the West Coast, where everything is big, including the muscles on the governor of California and the home run total of a San Francisco outfielder, both of whom have more than a nodding acquaintance with steroids.
But I digress . . .

When I was young and ice covered most of the earth, beach wrestling was something — I hesitate to call it a sport — that was done under a blanket after sundown at Nantasket and Humarock and victory didn’t win you any gold medal.

In fact, it was more likely to win you a smack upside the head. Most of the time, anyway.

The rules of beach wrestling don’t differ that much from the kind that’s done in a ring, except in the uniforms — shorts only for men, one or two-piece suits for women. No thongs and no bikinis.

“We don’t want exposure, “says Paul Kieblesz, an international referee. “The sand can pull pants off.”

A statement that is guaranteed to attract a full (and probably hopeful) house at the East Coast Championships, no doubt. Somehow I don’t think all of those in the stands will be studying advanced wrestling techniques.

Participants are not allowed to throw sand in an opponent’s face, either, and officials apparently have the option of calling injury time to get a wet towel for the wrestler who “accidentally’ gets a faceful of sand.

Beach wrestling has not yet been proposed as an accredited Olympic sport but if everyone can manage to keep his or her pants on at Long Beach Aug. 13 there’s a good chance the International Olympic Committee will add it to the schedule for 2008.

After all, didn’t they just drop baseball and softball from the roster as being too obscure for international games?

Already, the sport of beach volleyball has a spot in the Olympic games with the gold medal going to Brazil, the silver to Spain and the bronze to Switzerland in 1004. The Swiss beach volleyball team must be like the Jamaican bobsled team; they have to go out of the country to find a practice venue.

The International Wrestling Federation, or whatever they call it, recognized beach wrestling as part of it “new world of wrestling “last year, joining freestyle, Greco-Roman, Sumo and arm, but not the kind that they play under a blanket at Nantasket and Humarock.

And certainly not “yagli gures, “the national sport of Turkey in which wrestlers cover their bodies with olive oil and grapple outdoors on the grass.

Wrestling Gear

Mat Wizard Hype
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